Beautiful Boy

Beautiful Boy,
I need air to breathe.
I'm in love with you,
A secret I keep with me.

When you hold me tight,
This moment between feels right.
So hold me, hold me,
Forever my sweet baby.

Please don't go away today,
You're girl needs you to stay.
This feeling I want to keep,
'cause it runs all too deep.

My beautiful boy,
I need air to breathe.
I'm in love with you,
A secret I keep with me.

What's not to see tonight?
Your eyes hold all the light.
Forever bright in the dark,
They are my only spark.

What do I see?
Your smile is the key. (to my heart)
Your laugh is the chain, (that keeps us connected)
Your kiss is the frame. (that holds everything together)

'Cause beautiful boy,
I need air to breathe.
I'm in love with you,
A secret I keep with me.

You...

I was looking for something I cannot explain,
Then I met you and everything felt right.
You blew in and took me away,
Then you were gone, before I forgot I can breathe.

And all I know is,
I love your dimples when you smile.
The way you laugh when I try to be mad,
And when you try to be brave so I won't get hurt.

And this is probably crazy,
But I want to be around to make you smile.
To watch you breathe while you sleep,
To hold you close and hear your heart beat.

All I know is, 
I love watching you work.
Teasing you about nothing important,
And your goofy smile when the camera comes out.

You make me laugh when I'm sad,
And it's funny when you try to be mad.
You're cute when you glare,
And sometimes it's hard not to stare.

And all I know is,
I love watching your hands when you drive.
How protected you make me feel,
And listening to you sing.

I love the way you play like a kid with your dog,
And I smile when you whine like you're three again.
I love listening to you talk,
And how strong you are.

And all I know is,
I love play fighting with you.
Going on long road trips,
And just being near you.

Everything about you is spinning through my head,
All these little things that I miss most about you.

I Love You More

I just wanted you to know,
Life's too short to take for granted.
One moment is all it takes,
Voicing your greatest endeavors.
Even though you might be afraid,
You should know that I'll stand with you.
Only because I love you more,
Until my heart stops beating.
My darling it's alright,
Open your eyes to every bright light.
Remember me when I'm gone,
Even so, I'll love you still.

Beautiful Boy

Beautiful Boy,
I need air to breathe.
I'm in love with you,
A secret I keep with me.

The though of you leaving,
Makes my heart race.
I've thought about pleading,
But for that, there's no place.

Are you scared of me,
And of everything I've said?
I never wanted you to see,
This hidden part of me.

Maybe you should run,
Please don't stay.
I'm not worth your trouble,
It'd be better this way.

My heart breaks for you,
Something I wish you knew.
As I'm left to bleed too soon,
I always come back to you.

Beautiful Boy,
I need air to breathe.
I'm in love with you,
A secret I keep with me.

Save You.

You're a splash of color in my world,
But my light is almost gone.
Maybe one day I can set you free,
And save you from me.

I know I need to walk away,
But something always makes me stay.
I miss you every time you leave,
And think about every hello yet to be.

Your laugh, your smile,
They take me away.
But I'm scared of hurting you,
Something I wish you knew.

You make me happy,
But would you walk away?
If I cried today,
Would you run the other way?

How can you look at me that way?
When I've tried to stay hidden in the grey.
I'm nothing special that I can see,
I'm just me.

I'm so afraid, it's hard to breathe.
So I should be the one to leave.
To put distance between you and me,
And bury all the hurts I see.

You're a splash of color in my world,
But my light is almost gone.
Maybe one day I can set you free,
And save you from me...

God Time....

I was talking to God last night, about all the things that have been troubling me these last couple of months... and after saying my piece, these are the words I heard, like His own personal letter to me.

"Can't you see? You're not listening to Me. You're filling your head with things that go against everything I Am. You're blocking Me out, because you don't trust that I can take care of you. You're trying to protect your heart, for you're afraid of being hurt. But your heart is safest with Me, yet, you won't let Me have it.You're blocking Me out because you don't believe I can take care of you. 

All these things are happening for a reason, by My hand. I love you and it is enough. Enough to sustain you, enough to give you peace, enough to give you rest, enough for your emptiness to be whole. But you have to give yourself to Me and you have to trust ME to keep you going; to pull you through. Don't give up on what I have given you, for it is a gift and it's yours and yours alone. For I will not give you any more than you can handle.

Because you can't see it; but you are strong willed. But without me you are empty. Your heart is empty. Though I have always been here and can fill the void you feel. You just have to trust Me and let Me in. For you are not alone, I am with you. You are not lost, For I can always find you. Your worthlessness that you claim and feel, is measured by the world. But I know your true value and it cannot be measured. Don't let go of the things you want out of fear, but hold tight to the things you love and trust Me to guide you. 

But don't let go of Me in the knowledge of your strengths...For I am strong where you are weak, I am brave where you are afraid, and I will never give up on you; even when you give up on yourself. Because I love you more than you could ever imagine is possible to love someone, but you must trust Me and wait on My timing and all will be well."

Your Hello

                                             After waiting a lifetime, you finally said hello.

My fear in that moment was like a hard blow.
I was out in the world for every eye to see,
My unsaid reaction that is unconditionally me.

I didn't know what to say,
Should I be myself?
All these emotions here to stay,
Will I scare you away?

I hit the floor, my hands began shaking,
As I read your words and felt like breaking.
I whispered your name trying to believe,
You couldn't possibly be talking to me.

For I had already let you go and accepted,
Knowing you needed to be free and respected.
But like a buried ghost from my past,
You appeared again, just like the last.

I didn't know what to say,
Should I be myself?
All these emotions here to stay,
Will I scare you away?

Though I wonder about you often,
My residing fear it didn't soften.
But you made me smile today,
I wish it was always that way.

Why did you come back after being gone so long?
The way I think about you, is almost like a sad song.

I didn't know what to say,
Should I be myself?
All these emotions here to stay,
Will I scare you away?

I will still wait for you hellos,
But I won't change, I hope you know.
This me, is who I want you to see.
Who isn't afraid you won't agree.

You are like a confusing puzzle,
Making figuring you out a struggle.
I'm glad you came back, I wish you knew.
Though will I ever know, the real you?

Come to Me

I feel His presence like a soft kiss saying,
Don't be afraid my love, your faith is straying.
I am here; where you should be.
My darling, just come to Me.

But my wings where cut so I couldn't fly,
I'm stuck on the ground looking up at the sky.
My weaknesses He takes in stride,
For the One I adore is still by my side.

Clouds of grey hang over my head,
Lies and doubts are all that is said.
He puts the light back in my eyes, 
When there is darkness in my skies.

I lost what I was fighting for,
My heart was left broken and sore.
He makes me whole where I am broken,
For His healing words are truly spoken.

I watched a friend as he walked away,
And there was nothing I could say.
He stitches up the heart that once freely bled,
Fixing my hurt that weighs heavy as lead.

Does it really matter?

I stumble, I break.
The more of me he takes.
I fall, I shatter.
Does it really matter?

Look away, look away.
You won't last another day.
He will laugh, he will play.
But never will he stay.

An imprint on my mind,
Of him you will find.
Chest of old things past,
It would have never last.

A book of lost words,
A voice never heard.
A number counting down,
Though never makes a sound.

I stumble, I fall.
This hurts most of all.
I break, I shatter.
Does it really matter?

The Love of a King

It kills me to see that so many girls are willing, even desperate, to give something up that is so special, because they are afraid of being alone. So when a guy comes along with a cute smile, and knows all the right things to say, she gives. And in the end is left wondering why the hole is still there. Feeling broken and used, she continues to search for the wrong kind of love... all the while ignoring the Savior who paid it all for her and can fill her emptiness like no other can. Doesn't she know she's worth more?

The Love of a King

The love of a Savior who paid it all,
For a girl who was stumbling and about to fall.

Day by day she gives herself away,
Wondering why he never asks her to stay.
A void that has left her cold and broken,
Taking love from another, like a healing token.

Ignoring the whisper on her heart,
As the hands of another leave their mark.
Too far gone as another day passes,
Crying herself to sleep on a cold, dark mattress.

She feels unworthy to accept the love of a King,
But a new song for her, He will gladly sing.
She yearns to find that peace and rest,
But is afraid she’ll fail the final test.

So day by day she gives herself away,
Can this Prince make her stay?
He shows her the way to joy is free,
One day her eyes will open, and she will see.